Voting is hard and makes you very muddy
By PETER FROST - Island Packet
Voting is stupid.
It’s too much work. It’s too much work to wait in line, which you can only do after you find which line you’re supposed to be standing in (where exactly is this mysterious and so-called “Precinct 3A” anyway?) Last time I tried to vote, I got stuck on some muddy road in a downpour. Can’t this crazy “government” please pay $5 to put up a sign or two?
On top of that, it’s too confusing once you actually get inside. OK, first you make me stand in line with a bunch of surly seniors with pointy elbows who want to get back to their crossword puzzles and comics. Then, you make me try to figure out one of those wacky electronic voting machines? That’s adding insult to injury. Why can’t I just tell my TV who I want to vote for? Based on our bursting waistlines and intimate knowledge of “American Idol,” that would seem the best way to get us to vote. Haven’t they invented that technology yet? Slackers.
With all of these long lines and deliberate government-induced confusion, it all sounds a bit like Communism to me. That, or cruel and unusual punishment. And I believe that’s prohibited by the Eighth Amendment, my friends. Look it up.
Oh yeah — don’t forget about the germs. Just how many sickos touched that nasty screen before me? Ever heard of SARS? TB? Bird flu?
Forget it. I’m not taking my chances.
Voting sucks.
It’s not like you were even thinking about heading to the polls anyway. Well, unless you live in Sun City Hilton Head. And, if that’s the case, you probably aren’t reading this. Only one in eight of us in this Senate district actually turned out for the primary.
Crowded schools? Uncontrolled growth? Clogged roads? Immigration? Those are the apparent “issues” the candidates are talking about. If the people we “elected” in the first place would have done their jobs, we wouldn’t have these problems, would we?
I guess we’ve got no one to blame but ourselves. If we’re not smart enough to elect the right people, then we shouldn’t vote. That should eliminate about 7 out of 10 of us.
That brings me to another point: Why can’t we be like the rest of the civilized world and have kings, queens and the like, who just appoint people for us? That seems to make sense. Those rogue African and Middle Eastern countries sure know what they’re doing.
Regardless, when the results are in, it’s not like any of it really matters. Whomever we send up to Columbia is going to do the same thing: take long lunches, hang out at the cash bar with lobbyists and play with the pigs that Gov. Sanford brings to the Petting Zoo.
And, really, that’s about it. Have you seen next year’s budget?
Peter Frost, who’s obviously kidding and wants you to vote, is a Packet reporter.